Wrong Flowers
A
client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the
occasion.
They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it
said "Rest in Peace.”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home.
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home.
Ask For Raise
I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager.
"There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.
Sell Shoes
Two managing agents decided to start a new career to sell shoe.
The two managing agents go to Africa to open up new markets.
Three days after arriving, one managing agent said, "I’m returning on the next flight.
Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other real managing sent an email to the factory,
telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
The two managing agents go to Africa to open up new markets.
Three days after arriving, one managing agent said, "I’m returning on the next flight.
Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other real managing sent an email to the factory,
telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
Frogs Vs Real Estate Broker
Two women were walking through the woods when a
frog called out to them and said: “Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker
who, through a curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss
me, I’ll be returned to my former state!”
One woman took out her purse, grabbed the
frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman said, “Didn’t you hear
him? If you kiss him, he’ll turn into a real estate broker!”
The second woman replied, “Sure, but these
days a talking frog is worth more than a real estate broker!”
Main Entrance
A broker was dismayed when a brand new
real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge
sign which read ‘BEST AGENTS.’
He was horrified when another competitor
opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign,
reading ‘LOWEST COMMISSIONS.’
The broker panicked, until he got an idea.
He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: ‘MAIN
ENTRANCE’.
A Realty Salesman
A realty
salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of
land he had sold was completely under water. “That customer’s going to come
back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?”
“Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Get out there
and sell him a houseboat.”
Wife Or Mistress
A doctor, a
lawyer and a real estate agent were discussing the relative merits of having a
wife or a mistress.
The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better.
If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal
problems."
The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The real estate agent says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you free up more time to list, negotiate and sell!
The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The real estate agent says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you free up more time to list, negotiate and sell!
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